When Bert Ellison went through strong mood swings during his Ph.D. program, he didn’t always turn to his wife first.
Instead, his close friend Dan Driscoll became his go-to person. Mr. Driscoll suggested that Mr. Ellison share his concerns with him first, reducing stress on his marriage. This approach is supported by research, which found that married individuals with satisfying social support outside marriage experienced less stress from marital conflicts.
Living in a shared home with my husband, two friends, and their children has enriched our lives. Different perspectives, passions, and social connections have made our living situation dynamic. It has also allowed me to discover new dimensions of my husband’s personality, enhancing our relationship.
The ancient Romans understood the importance of friendship, considering it as vital as modern society views marriages. Friendships were often described in terms now reserved for spouses, highlighting the deep connection they held. As societal norms evolved, spouses took on roles previously filled by friends, especially during the Victorian era when romantic love gained prominence.
In recent years, we’ve realized the drawbacks of expecting a spouse to be our “everything.” Studies show that married individuals often have weaker relationships with friends, neighbors, and relatives compared to single individuals. Overemphasis on romantic relationships can harm friendships and vice versa.
To address this, try a drawing exercise to visually represent the importance of people in your life. If your romantic partner dominates the space, it may indicate an imbalance. Establish routines to prioritize friendships, such as regular hangouts or dedicated time for coffee and conversation.
Friendships not only enhance romantic relationships but also provide deep meaning and connection on their own. By creating space for friends, both types of relationships become more satisfying. So, while celebrating Valentine’s Day with a romantic partner, remember to plan your next date night with a friend.